OMG

Well, I thought the female body builders with boobs cartoons was bad, but then you haven’t read the reviews of Donkey Punch yet.

Something Awful has an incredible review of this film, littered with quotes like

The couple moves through a series of predictable sexual positions (each accompanied by punching of Daire’s ass or head) with long layovers that involve the man kicking her modest bosom or inserting much of his foot into her mouth. Probably the most painful-looking moment in the scene is when Daire assumes a head-down doggystyle position on the couch. The man begins having anal sex with her and then lifts a foot and steps on the side of her face while this is happening. She does not appear enthusiastic about this position and, given her discomfort, I move that it be stricken from the Kama Sutra.

At long last, the man reaches his climax and administers a series of blows to Daire’s head as he completes his day’s work. It should be noted that the men in the movie do restrain their punches. Not that the film doesn’t still appear quite painful for the women, just that the men seem aware that knocking the actress unconscious or punching teeth out of her mouth are probably grounds for a filming stop.

and

What makes this dramatic finale great is that “Cram” and “Grip” “Johnson” appear on screen in a special follow-up to the donkey punching. Along with them is Alex Divine who is flexing her distended asshole at the camera like some sort of anal bodybuilder. They proceed to apologize for “that dumb bitch” who “totally fucked up the most important part of the scene.” She continues to be somewhat bitchy, which is understandable, and they act like stupid assholes, which is also understandable. They slap her and pull her hair, she spits at them. The best line is Cram’s, “there’s no wrong spot to hit a woman,” which if it saw broader release would go down as one of the all time greatest lines in film history for a variety of reasons.

Another new browser in the wars.

But this one is specifically for visiting porn sites with. It’s called Heatseak and implements a shell on IE, closing it down for much of the nasty behaviour certain porn sites exhibit (spyware, popups etc). The installer allows you to choose a variety of names / icons for it, so it’s not too obvious on your PC, and it has playlists of the stuff you’ve downloaded a bit like itunes. Also all the downloaded content and sites you’ve visited are stored encrypted on its’ own bit of disk, so no one else can get at it or see where you’ve gone. Anonymity is a big point of the design. If you want to view the content outside of Heatseak you pay $20,- for a gold version.

Posted in Sex

Mens rights on child support

Well, we all know when it comes down to women and children it’s the woman who gets to say it all, and the man can just lump it and pay over the child support. Fortunately for us downtrodden men someone is starting a lawsuit to establish precedence much as there is precedence for women being allowed to have a choice. Not much chance of it working, but hopefully it’ll break down some of the sexist practices women have been engaging in lately.

Posted in Sex

National Penis Sizes

Apparently, the French are the biggest Dicks, and the Koreans the smallest – based on a sample size of around 2000…

The study results showed that the average world size penis when erect is 14 centimetres (5.5 inches). The biggest averages were registered in France 16 cm (6.2 in), Italy 15 cm (5.9 in), Mexico 14.9 cm (5.8 in) and Spain 14 cm (5.5 in). In the United States, the average is 12.9 cm (5 in) while in Venezuela is 12,7 cm (4.9 in), and in Brazil is 12.4 cm (4.8 in). The smallest averages were found in India 10.2 cm (3.9 in) and South Korea 9,6 cm (3.7 in).

Posted in Sex

Cybersex gone awry

With conversations like these you’d think it can’t get any weirder… trust me, it can!

I.F.: My s**t is hard you ready to jump aboard?
1hOttYeVe: oh yea im so wet right now
I.F.: Why you just shower?
1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you
I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator s**t you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
1hOttYeVe: What the f**k are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
I.F.: I do! Sorry…I just didnt know why you were wet…then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you…
I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!
1hOttYeVe: alright then…I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
I.F.: I pop like 16 boners
1hOttYeVe: what the f**k!
I.F.: what?

Posted in Sex

ELMS

.. that stands for the ‘Encyclopedia of Lesbian Movie Scenes’. If you think this is even remotely safe for work, you deserve all you get for clicking it at your place of employment.

http://www.clublez.com/movies/index.html

It’s fairly tame, but I am impressed and somewhat disturbed by the attention to detail shown here.

Posted in Sex